Change is one of the hardest things for me to get used to.  We all know that it’s inevitable, but man is it difficult to go through.  I like routine.  I feel like I thrive when things are as I expect them to be.  I have several friends that are “go with the flow” and free-spirited.  How I wish I was more like that!  I have passed that trait down to my daughters, which by the way, I kind of hate.  Especially when they ask “what’s for dinner” every single day!

This past weekend, I had a roll off container to get rid of things in my home that I no longer needed.   As I was throwing things in garbage bags and out in the dumpster, I kept thinking about how getting rid of items that no longer serve us is so important.  Why keep things around if you never use them?  I specifically remember getting rid of an old bike that my daughter had when she was four.  She loved that bike and rode it whenever she could.  It has been in our garage for years, collecting dust.  As I was throwing it in the container, she was pretty upset that we were throwing it away.  I reminded her of the bike that fits her now and how much she loves that one.  She felt like we were throwing away memories by throwing the bike away.  As a small side note, she is what I classify a hoarder!   We threw the bike in the dumpster together.  She realized that the bike is old and no one else is able to use it, so she could let it go.  With that, she walked off and hasn’t been bothered since.

As I continued to purge items in my home, I began to think about things I hold on to, because they are all I know.  I realized that I have become pretty attached to my weight.  It is connected to every single memory I have.  Beginning in elementary school where I always paid attention to my lunches to make sure that I wouldn’t be made fun of for an item in my lunch bag.  In middle school, working to be the fun friend that everyone liked so I wouldn’t get made fun of.  Through college, where I thought for sure that guy wanted to just go out just because I was funny and he probably just liked my roommate.  I could kick myself now as an adult because I have let my weight steal some pretty big moments of joy.

As I work on getting rid of the weight I carry around, I am forced to look at who I am without the weight.  I don’t exactly know who that person is all the time.  I am finding that, sometimes I don’t recognize her.  For me my weight defined who I thought I was, “the funny fat chick” the “she’d be so much prettier if she lost weight” girl.  Decisions I have made in the past were centered on what I thought of myself or how I wanted others to perceive me.  In finding out who this “new” Jenny is, I am able to set some better boundaries for myself.  I am learning to define what it is that I want and what I am willing to accept.  This weight loss journey has given me a new perspective of change and getting rid of the areas in my life that no longer serve me for the better.  Turns out, getting the roll off container was more of an emotional task than I had bargained for.  I am figuratively and metaphorically cleaning house!

Change continues to be inevitable.  It may not be about the weight we are losing.  It could be a new job or the loss of someone important.  It could be the joy of a new marriage or the pain of divorce.   Finding yourself in the midst of change can be incredibly exciting and also extraordinarily terrifying.  We’ve all taken a really big step in this process to gain control of certain areas in our lives by joining Shape Up Jackson.  This is so much more than a weight loss competition.  It’s choosing to embrace and make a change for the better.  To get rid of the weight that no longer serves us so that we can enjoy a life that is waiting!

Keep killing it out there Shape Up Jackson contestants.  Lean in to your team when you don’t feel like making those necessary changes, because greatness and success continues to be on its way!